Five Tips to Gain Back Your Lost Confidence

I know we have all been there, in fact I've had very close friends tell me that they don't feel confident and that they are worried that someone will find out that they are a fake or not qualified to do their job. I'm always caught off guard when I hear this, because in my eyes this person might be an overachiever – a person who seems to have the world at their fingertips. But for some reason they have lost their confidence. When smart people get into this situation it only takes a few bad habits to crush their spirit and send them down the wrong path.

I'm a firm believer that it's not the big things in life that cause you to lose self-confidence. But rather the daily little activities that can boost confidence and prepare you, so that when the big opportunities come up your in the right frame of mind to accomplish them.

My five confidence boosting tips:
1) Avoid negative people - negativity is like adding fuel to a fire. If you’re already in a down state your positive state has been compromised, being around negative people will only make it worse. I know this can be difficult, because in many cases the negative folks are doing their grass roots form of therapy to help cope with stress in their environment, but too much negativity can demoralize an individual - recognize when you are among negative people – then associate with those who have a better attitude.  

2) Change your routine - we are all creatures of habit to some extent. You know the old saying, only the paranoid survive, well odds are you created some habits and adapted for one reason or another – but they may not be positive habits. Try adding a walk to your day, or take a short trip, go to a different coffee shop rather than the usual stop. Taking a different path might just get you refreshed enough to find the answers you are looking for - a different frame of mind can put you in a position to solve your problem.  

3) Think back to happier times - I'm sure back in the day you did that made you feel confident. When you feel like the world is against you the worst thing you can do is nothing, any forward progress will make you feel a little better. Try doing some of the activities that you had success doing. It can be as activities as simple as you like - riding a bike, sports, playing cards, games and even connecting with friends you had during better times. I'm sure there are lots if activities you can think of - the same can be said for revisiting with folks whom you've enjoyed some form or another of success.

4) Say high and smile at strangers - my children hate it when I do this, however it works very well - try engaging with complete strangers. It's very simple to do, for e.g. next time you are in the line at the grocery store just say high to the clerk and ask them how their day is going before they ask you. That simple gesture can help you build your own self-esteem and confidence. You never know, you may just help them with their day or you might even make a new friend.  

5) Get professional help - get stuck in a rut and you can lose years and years of productivity. And while I've given some tips and tricks on ways to boost confidence there are also deep-rooted issues that are based on chemical imbalances, or emotional problems. If you are having trouble gaining confidence you may want to seek professional help, it's better to get help and get well than to have someone say you've wasted your life away.

We all get down from time to time for one reason or another and lose our confidence, it's normal and part of what we are - I'm not a psychologist so I'd don't know why it happens but from my perspective it's a defense mechanism that can help in high stress situations but left unchecked can destroy you. And while I'm sure many can relate to feeling this way, others have felt that way and have fought back.